Lessons from My Own Transition: What I Wish I’d Known

When I retired from basketball, I felt like I was stepping into the unknown. The structured life I’d always known—practices, games, and goals laid out for me—was suddenly gone. I was left wondering: What’s next? How do I even begin? At the time, I didn’t have a roadmap. I stumbled, learned, and grew along the way. And while the process was messy, it taught me lessons I now carry into every aspect of my life and work.

If I could go back and share some advice with my younger self, I’d tell her three things: embrace rest, lean into self-discovery, and don’t be afraid to start over as a beginner. These lessons were learned the hard way, but they’ve become the foundation of how I now approach life—and how I coach others through their own transitions.

Lesson 1: Timing is Everything

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that timing is everything. You can’t force growth or rush through the tough parts of life. Things happen when they’re supposed to happen.

I realized this when I was invited to compete on Mästarnas Mästare (a Swedish show where retired athletes compete in mental and physical challenges). Growing up, I idolized the legends who appeared on the show. Being cast as one of them was surreal.

The experience came at the perfect time in my life. Competing alongside other retired athletes and hearing their stories gave me hope and clarity. Many of them had also struggled with the transition, feeling lost and unsure of what came next. Their honesty reminded me that the struggles I faced weren’t unique—and they weren’t a sign of failure.

Lesson 2: Rest Isn’t Laziness

When I first retired, I felt the need to stay in motion. I thought I had to jump straight into the next big thing, to “figure it all out” immediately. I convinced myself that if I wasn’t actively working toward a goal, I was wasting time.

But what I’ve come to understand is that rest isn’t laziness—it’s a necessary part of the process. Taking time to reflect, process, and recharge is what allowed me to rediscover what I truly wanted from this next chapter of my life.

Lesson 3: Be Okay With Being a Beginner

Starting over is humbling. As athletes, we’re used to being at the top of our game—masters of our craft. Transitioning into something new means going back to square one, and that can be hard to accept.

When I first started creating content and sharing my journey, I felt completely out of my depth. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I was terrified of failing. But I’ve learned that being a beginner isn’t something to fear—it’s an opportunity to grow.

How My Goal-Setting Evolved

In the early days of my transition, I relied on SMART goals—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. They helped me create structure and focus during a time when I felt directionless. But as I progressed, I realized something was missing. SMART goals were great for setting clear objectives, but they didn’t address the deeper, more emotional and personal aspects of my journey.

That’s when I was introduced to a more holistic goal-setting framework, and it resonated with me on a completely different level. This approach focuses on four types of goals:

End GoalsThese are the big-picture outcomes you want to achieve, like transitioning into a new career or building a sustainable post-sports life.
Process GoalsThese are the steps you take to achieve your end goal. They keep you focused on the present moment, like setting a routine for networking or dedicating time to self-reflection.
Emotional GoalsThese goals focus on how you want to feel during your journey. Whether it’s building confidence, finding peace, or maintaining hope, emotional goals remind you to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.
Attitude GoalsThese goals shape your mindset and approach. Maybe you want to embrace curiosity, practice patience, or view failure as an opportunity to learn.

This holistic framework transformed how I approach goal-setting, both personally and professionally. It gave me permission to honor the emotional and mental aspects of my journey, not just the measurable outcomes.

Bringing Holistic Goals Into My Coaching

Now, this framework has become a cornerstone of my coaching philosophy. While I still value the structure that SMART goals provide, this more holistic approach has allowed me to help my clients connect with their deeper “why.” It’s not just about checking boxes—it’s about creating goals that align with their values, emotions, and the life they want to build.

If I could share one thing with anyone navigating a transition, it would be this: success isn’t just about achieving your end goal. It’s about how you show up along the way, how you feel during the process, and the mindset you cultivate to carry you forward.

Takeaway

Your transition isn’t just an end—it’s a new beginning. It’s a chance to rediscover yourself, to grow, and to create a life that reflects your values and passions.

Setting goals that address your actions, emotions, and mindset can make all the difference. I’m excited to bring this holistic framework into my coaching sessions moving forward, and I hope it inspires you to approach your journey with more intention and compassion.